Sunday, February 26, 2012

I was born with multiple personalities

My mother had my name picked out before she knew that I was a girl.

Alexandra etymologizes* from Ancient Greek. They didn't mess around back then, and I believe that there was a lot of thought put into this name. Let's break it up into its syllables. First, we have 'Alex', how do you do. Then we have 'and', a connector. Lastly, we have this tiny little 'ra'. Where does ra come from? More importantly, who is ra?

Keep up with me folks, I'm going somewhere with this. I believe that the Greeks knew that whoever was born an Alexandra, wouldn't just have some humdrum personality. They would have personality and a LOT of it. Alex would do for every day personality, but every now and then ra would come out. You wouldn't be able to put your finger on it, but when talking to Alexandra, at times something would seem just slightly ra-ish.

ra would like to say that she wrote this post. She is fairly quirky, and mostly crazy. She spins from one idea to another, and Alex apologizes if you couldn't keep up.

Yeah, I wrote a post about have more than one personality and have now convinced you that I am certifiably insane. Love it. Just love it.

After Skyping with my parents the other night, I ended with "love you both", to which she replied "love you both... err.. both your personalities." Proof that she knew I'd be deserving of the name Alexandra.

*I made up that word.

Saturday, January 7, 2012

Brain Word Fart Block Thing

I miss writing. I miss being able to write, and sitting down and telling a story. But then this evil writing word fart block monster came and it hasn't left. I have all these drafts sitting here, completely unfinished and very lame. Did you know that there is one about life as a male poodle? And one about how I should probably become a lesbian? Oddly enough, I chopped off all my hair recently. Step 1, check. But that's beside the point. Point is, WHERE ARE MY WORDS AND STRINGING TOGETHER OF THEM CAPABILITY?

I've lost you now, haven't I? Well, if I haven't, I will tell you a little ditty of a story.

This New Years I decided I wanted to do something different. After spending a month actively trying to remember what I did last new years eve (I was home on antibiotics and was passed out before midnight), all I could think of were past years of disappointment. And hangovers, so many hangovers. Year after year, without fail I would wake up on January 1st with an overwhelming sense of blahhhh. And then remember how much money I spent and look over at the hooker next to me and think, "was it all worth it?" The hooker was of course worth it, the rest of the night... meh. I love me a good hooker.

So this year I actively made no plans. Instead I watched kick ass Criminal Minds marathon. It was amazing. Of course, no new years is complete without a hooker, and I have a special new years eve harlot.

Ok, so I lied. I don't have any hookers or harlots. I didn't want to alarm anybody with my lame sober new years. Even though it was the best new years ever. Really. Even without drunk Alex. New Years drunk Alex is a meanie. She doesn't like the hoopla either.

Sober Alex also has some slight anger issues that she needs to deal with and is unsure of how drunk Alex will handle them. It's all fun and games until someone pisses a bitch off.

Maybe there will be less drunk Alex stories, but don't worry kids, there will probably be some angry Alex stories. Do you think they will let me write in prison? Can you imagine the stories I'll have from prison?? "Alex Gets Searched", "Alex Drops Soap", "Alex in Chains", "Alex Gets Her First Bitch". I'll have to rename my blog lexintheclink. Catchy, no?

I think I found my inspiration.

I apologize for the nonsensical post.

Oh and here's my short hair. Perfect for both becoming a lesbian and going to prison.