Saturday, January 7, 2012

Brain Word Fart Block Thing

I miss writing. I miss being able to write, and sitting down and telling a story. But then this evil writing word fart block monster came and it hasn't left. I have all these drafts sitting here, completely unfinished and very lame. Did you know that there is one about life as a male poodle? And one about how I should probably become a lesbian? Oddly enough, I chopped off all my hair recently. Step 1, check. But that's beside the point. Point is, WHERE ARE MY WORDS AND STRINGING TOGETHER OF THEM CAPABILITY?

I've lost you now, haven't I? Well, if I haven't, I will tell you a little ditty of a story.

This New Years I decided I wanted to do something different. After spending a month actively trying to remember what I did last new years eve (I was home on antibiotics and was passed out before midnight), all I could think of were past years of disappointment. And hangovers, so many hangovers. Year after year, without fail I would wake up on January 1st with an overwhelming sense of blahhhh. And then remember how much money I spent and look over at the hooker next to me and think, "was it all worth it?" The hooker was of course worth it, the rest of the night... meh. I love me a good hooker.

So this year I actively made no plans. Instead I watched kick ass Criminal Minds marathon. It was amazing. Of course, no new years is complete without a hooker, and I have a special new years eve harlot.

Ok, so I lied. I don't have any hookers or harlots. I didn't want to alarm anybody with my lame sober new years. Even though it was the best new years ever. Really. Even without drunk Alex. New Years drunk Alex is a meanie. She doesn't like the hoopla either.

Sober Alex also has some slight anger issues that she needs to deal with and is unsure of how drunk Alex will handle them. It's all fun and games until someone pisses a bitch off.

Maybe there will be less drunk Alex stories, but don't worry kids, there will probably be some angry Alex stories. Do you think they will let me write in prison? Can you imagine the stories I'll have from prison?? "Alex Gets Searched", "Alex Drops Soap", "Alex in Chains", "Alex Gets Her First Bitch". I'll have to rename my blog lexintheclink. Catchy, no?

I think I found my inspiration.

I apologize for the nonsensical post.

Oh and here's my short hair. Perfect for both becoming a lesbian and going to prison.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You are entirely too cute for prison...don't do it. I'm not sure you'll "get a bitch" so much as "become a bitch" and from my understanding the later isn't as much fun as for the former.

I envy you your short hair...with my mop of curls I could never do that. I have to imagine the prep and style time is drastically diminished. I think it looks cute.