Tuesday, February 1, 2011


Any of you living on the US east coast or Ontario have heard the winter storm warnings over the past couple of days. And if you're in the States, then please tell me it's not as bad as I've heard.

Because I'm not ready for SNOWMAGEDDON. Not when I have to walk 5 miles, uphill both ways, with the wind in my face the whole time. Ok, so it's not 5 miles, and it's not uphill. But I do have to walk. And SHOVEL.

I'm still waiting for the news to say "hide your children, lock up your valuables!". Because those weather people are starting to scare me. Anybody hear a reporter say SNOWMAGEDDON yet? Should I be writing out a will tonight in case I'm buried in an avalanche on my way to work? Not that anybody wants my debt. Too bad you couldn't put your debt in your will, because I have a couple people in mind of who I would add to the will.

I wish I was a kid for the day tomorrow. Because you know that all the schools are gonna be closed, and that snowman building conditions will be prime. I'd also build an igloo. My cousin once built an igloo using some snow and a lot of water. It was pretty sweet, except that I was too big to go inside of it. Sad sad day.

Here are some random flashbacks as I sit here thinking about winters when I was a kid:

- I used to catch the bus when I lived in Calgary, and this one kid had a pole he would hork onto to judge how cold it was. I say hork instead of spit because you gotta have a little something extra for added velocity and weight. We could judge how cold it was by how long it would take to freeze on the pole. Clever, right?
- I missed the bus once when it was -30C and there were a few feet of snow. I had been standing there waiting for only 15 minutes, but I was so cold I couldn't move from my spot. Good thing my dad drove by and found me frozen in a snowbank.
- There were a few winters where I would ski almost every weekend. My mom had organized ski lessons for the kids at school and so we'd hit up COP (Calgary Olympic Park) a few times a week. My favourite part was when the sun would set and the lights would hit the snow. It was magical. I would stay on the slopes as long as I could. Even if I had to pee. Even if I maybe peed a little one time because I tried to hold it too long. But don't tell anybody that.
- When snow just naturally sticks together and requires almost no effort to make a snowball, you HAVE to have a snowball fight. It's a rule. Being friends with guys most often meant that I got pummeled with snowballs first. But did I ever lose? No. My winning strategy? Let them pummel me with so many snowballs that they tell me to give up. Refuse surrender. More pummeling. Refuse surrender, body is numb anyway. More pummeling. Victory, because the other side has given up because this girl looks like a drowned rat. A victorious drowned rat.

So tomorrow, I wish that I was a kid again. So I could have another victorious snowball fight or build an igloo. Alas, I will be shoveling my way out of my apartment and manning a non-snow fort (work) all day. Big sigh.

Bring it on snowmageddon. Bring. It. On.
(But be gentle)
I take winter very seriously.

1 comment:

Johnny Utah said...

It's 28 in Texas which is colder than I ever remembered it being. I was wearing shorts yesterday for God's sake. I can't fathom -30. Freaking crazy!